When someone says I’m in a relationship, what comes to our mind most of the time is a loving or sexual friendship between two people, yes this is true, but there is much more to Relationship. Man was created for relationships, first with his Creator, himself, his fellowman and his environment. How well he is able to relate goes a long way in what becomes of him. The saying that no man is an island clearly explains this, our conception is a product of relationship between two individuals, the process of development is that of relating with our mother, at birth the relationship continues and we keep on relating till we go back to the grave. Even in the grave, the body relates with the elements of the earth. The whole world too is in relationships; nations relate with one another, Organisations are in relationships, Communities are also involved. Suffice it to say that if there is any skill man needs to learn and master well it should be the skill of relating, because our world revolves around relationships.
According to Bill Gate, aside from intelligence, people skill is one skill Microsoft looks out for during recruitment. The same goes for most successful organizations, as their people go up in the Company’s ladder, they look out for employees who have people skill and place them in leadership positions. Companies also spend an appreciable part of their financial resources on Customer Relations. For me people skill is knowing how to relate well with others. It does not mean you will agree with everyone you come across or that everyone will like you, it simply means no matter where you are, you value people, even if you disagree. Its also knowing and practicing teamwork, always conscious of the fact that you are a part of a team, a global team, a family team, a workplace team, e.t.c. It is also keeping in mind that the closure or non closure of a single deal, the sale or no sale of an individual product is not as important as the ongoing relationship with a customer. In other words, Relationship is extremely important.
We learn so many things consciously in life, we learn our trade and profession consciously but we fail to consciously learn the all important skill of relating. Most of us pick up our relational skills unconsciously from our environment, if we are born by parents who respects people around them, we too are bound to respect people around us, if our parents think little of those around them we too are likely to be caught up in the bug. If we all are affected positively or negatively by people around us, then we should be careful about the relationships we go into. Though some relationships are by default (planned by the Creator), others are by choice, in other words we have control over them. We do not have a say as to who our parents are, or whose sibling we are, but we have a choice when it comes to every other relationships, (if you don’t like your boss you can quit your job, just joking). Leadership expert John Maxwell says ‘People can trace the successes and failures in their lives to their most significant relationships’. Since we too contribute to the lives of those around us, it is important for us to learn how to relate well with them and help bring the best out of them, this will in turn affect us too.
I think this is part of the reason most wellness Companies in the United States are employing multilevel marketing or network marketing, rather than the use of other modes of advertising, they know that customers are all in relationships and their testimonials affect the way the people around them receive or reject their products..
Relationship is leverage, money, health, e.t.c. hence the advice that we take a look at the direction the lives of the seven people closest to us is going, because that is the direction our own lives too is headed. Either we reach our goals earlier or later is determined by acting on the information we have at our disposal, and information is obtained through our relationships. A friend tells you to check a site, read a particular book, informs you about the sale of a form, a colleague tells you about a professional course, or you relate with the internet and get the information you need. Your physician advises you on your health, the estate manager tells you about the sale of a land, your banker gives you financial advice e.t.c. At the end it all goes back to the relationship you keep with these people. No matter how skillful, talented and gifted we are, failing to relate well will mostly hinder our potentials. The Bill Gates, Dangotes, Otedolas of this world used and are still using relationships as leverage in achieving their goals, the same with notable sportsmen, artisans, professional e.t.c. It is extremely expedient that we build and cultivate relationships that will add to us and help us in reaching our goals.
Learning the skills of relating successfully is the main thrust of this column, I hope as we read and practice tips discussed in this column our relationships improves and we get better and better. Most people have lost opportunities just because they do not have people skills, some fell from grace to grass because of the lack of these skills, some rose from grass to grace because they have them. Whatever you do, whoever you are, you need to relate with others, as the CEO you have to relate with your colleagues and subordinates, as the visionary/leader you must sell your vision to others, you cannot single handedly bring your vision to reality, you need the help of others. As the husband/wife the understanding and loyalty of your household is required for the success of your home. So I implore you to keep a date with me on this column as we explore tips on how to sharpen our relationship skills.
Dupe Oteri
relateandlive@yahoo.com, dupeoteri.blogspot.com
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