Becky’s marriage was barely a year when Damien, her husband lost his job and things took a downward turn in their finances, the family was being sustained afterwards by Becky’s meager salary of N15,000.00 pm. During this trial she got pregnant, and what should have been a thing of joy seemed to add to their burden. The financial implication of pregnancy weighed them down extremely and at every slight provocation they shout at each other. When it came to the point of Damien assaulting his wife physically, she moved out of their home and went to live with her in-laws where she was delivered of a baby girl. The joyful addition too brought pressure on the grand parents and after few complaints and quarrels she decided to leave the baby with them and went to live with a friend of hers.
Hmmmm, so many marriages have ended in divorce because of financial pressures, once loving husbands became wife beaters, while the respectful wife turned to a niggling wife. The children are not left out too as the boys engage in yahoo yahoo or armed robbery, while the girls trade with their bodies to make ends meet.
No doubt about it, money is extremely important in a marriage, there are one thousand and one things that you need it for, but as important as it is we should not allow it to determine the downfall of our marriages. Let us discuss some tips that can help us handle financial pressure in marriage.
Talk About It: Communication in marriage can not be overemphasized, anything and everything should be talked about in marriage, especially your finances. Talk about it and listen to your spouse talk about it too. Discuss it fully, and take decisions together. Do be very careful when discussing this issue as money argument can become volatile, pick the right time, mood e.t.c. and avoid the blame game.
Get your priorities right: Cultivate the habit of making a list and assign numbers of importance to the list. We should apply the ‘important and urgent’ rule in setting priorities, for example the aso ebi for next week wedding in your office is urgent but not important, while the children school fees due in four weeks time is important but not urgent. Let us be very sincere in creating our list and stick to it.
Plan to fit your pocket: Starting from the choice of school for the children, go for schools that you can afford, do not be caught up in the belief that the more expensive a school is the more qualitative education you get, this is not always true. What you pay for more is likely to be the extra curricular activities which are truly important, but take etiquettes (one of theses activities) for example, you can read up tons of materials on this and practice with your child, save up for swimming, music or ballet classes, there are external centres offering these classes on pay- as- you- go basis, this way you are not put under pressure. Note that no matter the amount you pay as school fees, your involvement in your child’s learning activities can not be overemphasized.
Next time, we will share other tips like eliminating waste, forget about the Jones, e.t.c, till then please practice the tips discussed.
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