Let’s Give It Up To Them…… Anyhow

Let’s Give It Up To Them…… Anyhow

I read in the papers recently about a young man who threatened to kill his mother, guess his reason? His mother is responsible for his misfortunes. I am sure you have heard this kind of stories because it is common for us in our society to blame our lack of progress on others. Though some do not openly confront their parents, they secretly hold their parents responsible for their challenges. They think things would have been better for them if their parents had sent them to a good/better school, set them up in a trade, help them financially when they were about starting their family. Such is the ill feeling towards parents in some quarters.

It will surprise you too that there is ill feeling on the part of the parents too. I heard a man quarreling with his son the other day, he made bold to say that he could have had it better now in his old day if not for the huge amount he spent on his children’s education. The money spent, he continued, if kept in fixed deposit would have been enough for him to spend for the few years he has on earth or he could have used the money to build a house of his own. This man picked up a quarrel with his son because the young man did not make his father house rent available.

Only the Creator calls the shot as per who our parents turn out to be, in other words the choice of a Parent is one that is decided by the Creator. He alone has the exclusive right to pick who gives birth to who, so there is absolutely nothing we as individuals can do about who our parents are. Some have been lucky to have parents who love and care so much for them, while some have been born to parents who are indifferent about child upbringing, others have parents who abuse and degrade them, few do not even know who their parents are since they were thrown away at birth.

Whichever situation we find ourselves with our parents, I think we should try as much as possible to excuse their excesses and appreciate them; they acted according to their frame of reference and experiences. Some of them never had any one model what role a parent should play in the life of a child, and so they brought us up exactly the way they were brought up ( a child can only be seen not heard). I know how hard it is to appreciate some one who had the wherewithal to educate you formally but refused because you are a girl child, I also know it is difficult to excuse a parent who physically abused you. But for history not to repeat itself, we have to let go.

Please note that your children are looking at the way you are treating your parents, and this is going to be the same way they would treat you some day. I implore you, treat your parents with respect, do not raise your voice against them, treat them the way you want to be treated when you become a parent. If we have taken our children for holiday outside the country severally, let us sacrifice one of those times and take our parents out too, I am sure most parent really wish to visit the Holy lands before they live earth, if we are in a position to do this for them, let us do it. Above all each and every one of us know what our parents like, what they have been dreaming of having, please let us give it to them. Send them short messages, call them, write a letter of appreciation to them, buy them stuffs, and have a time out with them. Whatever you need to do to make them know you love and respect them, do it. In doing all these, you are doing yourself a world of good. You are simply obeying the Creator, honouring your parents, and I tell you, their heart felt prayers for you will go along way.
Remember, you begin to live when you begin to relate truly.

Dupe Oteri
dupeoteri@gmail.com