HURTING OR LETTING GO IS ACHOICE.

Zainab refilled her cylinder at a gas shop and after nine days while cooking there was no more gas in the cylinder. She could not believe it, ‘the cylinder is not leaking’ she said to herself. She cooks only twice a day except for weekends when she cooks thrice. With only a family of five, she expects the 12.5kg cylinder filled with gas to last for nothing less than four weeks. She felt cheated and very hurt. What hurt her most was the fact that that was her first time in the gas shop, she normally goes to the gas station but on that day the station had old cylinders and she did not want to exchange her new cylinder with an old one. Besides the shop owner assured her that the cylinder is filled to capacity. Through out that day she was not herself, she coughed out N3,400 which was not part of her budget to get her cylinder refilled. Her husband came from the office and she relayed the incidence to him but his response took her off guard ‘that’s due to your carelessness, how could you not know that the cylinder was not properly filled’ was his response. Being a meticulous and prudent person she felt that statement was a slap on her face coming from her husband of six years. Their relationship was adversely affected that night as she withdrew into her shell and only gave monosyllabic responses to all her husband was saying.



In life one can never be too careful about getting hurt. Anyhow you want to go about it you will get hurt at least once in a while. There is bound to be lack of trust, dishonesty, cheating, misjudgments, e.t.c. coming from one side to the other, may be in your business dealings, place of work or worship, marriage e.t.c. How we handle these hurts is what really matters. We may brood over them and allow them affect every other relationships in our lives or we may let them go and move ahead. I rather choose the latter because it is gainful for us health wise and make us better persons; on the other hand the former is extremely dangerous to our health. I know it is not easy letting go at times, but it is a choice that is expedient we make each time we get hurt.



The first thing to do is to bear in mind that we are all human, no matter how perfect you think you are others will still see some imperfections in you. So for everyone who hurts you, they are just exhibiting their imperfect side. Tell yourself that you are not going to allow anyone tie you down with his/her imperfection. Open your mouth and confess aloud ‘I refuse to let (the person’s name) tie (my health, my finances, my marriage – whatever is applicable) down by his/her imperfection’. I deliberately choose to let go of (mention the offence/hurt) committed by (name) towards me’. Each time you remember the hurt say this confession over and over again.



Secondly, stop rehearsing the hurt either to yourself or others around you. Rehearsing it is like opening up fresh wound, it is better you let it alone and allow it heal with time. Remember time is a great healer. You too must have hurt others in one way or the other and you will not be too happy if you discover they are telling others about what you did.



There is no better time to let go of those hurts and pain than this season of love, so I encourage you to let go during this season, especially with your spouse, let go and enjoy the season.



Dupe Oteri



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