SHOW Them, Don't Just Teach Them

 SHOW Them, Don’t  Just Teach Them

So much excitement!  The kids were really having fun, splashing water all over the place, shouting away with so much hilarity. I sat down patiently watching them on the play ground as they engage in several sporting activities, some were jumping, others throwing balls, skipping e.tc. On the far left side of the playground is the swimming pool. I smiled as i remembered my own school years, the games i engaged in, ten-ten, skipping e.t.c.

After playing, the kids were really looking  worn-out, they  went to a corner to get water, they were all over the place, (though not screaming but definitely not talking in the normal way). I got interested in them at this point, i expected them to queue up and take their turns, but lo and behold they weren’t. That aside.  After the attendant helped them with water from the dispenser no one said ‘thank you sir” no, not one!  Thoughts started flying in my mind. Didn’t anyone teach these kids how to take turn? were they not thought to be appreciative?  The more the attendant bellow ‘be on a queue’ the rowdier they become.  I wasn’t impressed with the situation and wanted to help. Hmm! I got up, ready to help the attendant create sanity in the process but wait a minute, a woman walked in and caught my attention. Why? I had an encounter with her earlier in the day. I was at the grocery store being attended to when this woman walked in and spoke rudely to one of the attendant who was attending to a customer, the customer being attended to replied the woman that she should please ‘wait for her turn’ . Gratefully, she consented.

Hmm! I now see the reason for the rowdy session! Parents say it but do not ACT IT. The kids follow us out and see the way parents scramble for things, jump queue, throw thrash from the car, cross the express way with their kids, but tell the kids not to cross the express way. We drive with our children in the car and engage in road rage. Some people do not take turns, they get to the bank and jump queue, thank God for the few who initiate the queuing process anywhere they get to.  We use the ‘f’ word and other swear words lavishly before our kids and get embarrassed when they use the same word before our friends. We watch x-rated films before them e.t.c . Generally we SHOW them who we are but teach them who we think they should be.

Parenting should be deliberate. We should consciously show our children how to take turns, show appreciation to people when they help, take care of their environment, respect others, share, care for the young ones, e.t.c  Will write more about this in my next post.

Back to the story (lol) i stood up and sternly asked them to take turns, pick the cup and appreciate the attendant once they  get the cup from him and they obeyed.

Till next time, Show them not just teach them.

Dupe Oteri

Relate’n’Live  

Misplaced Priority; one of the bane of our society

When will our people learn, when will we get it right? I asked myself as I listened to a clerk and a secretary chat in the lobby as I wait to be called up for my appointment. Hear the clerk ‘Even my boss doesn’t wear the kind of shoes I wear, do you know how much this particular pair is being sold? Or do you think I am one of those guys who visit ‘sele pay’?

I watch in pity as the ranting continues because this is a common site, common talk. What is wrong in wearing good shoes? you may want to ask me. Nothing is wrong in wearing good shoes as long as the price fits your pocket, mark my word ‘fits your pocket’. I have seen guys earning not up to 30,000 monthly use blackberry phones, ladies earning the same amount want to keep up with other ladies who earn more, they desire and go out of their ways to buy bags/shoes/dresses e.t.c. that will take up their whole monthly salary. All these at the expense of their paying house rent, children school fees and other things that should be their priority. I am so sorry to hit at us ladies, so many of us are so vain because of wanting to be in vogue. Someone said ‘don’t be in vogue, be classic, classic can stand the test of all times’

Hmmm! Some of our sisters use their children school fees to buy aso ebi, or stuffs in vogue. How can you encourage your man to desist from corruption when you are already demanding for more than he earns in the right way.

  

Your house rent is due and you still went ahead to celebrate your child’s birthday with pomp and pageantry ……. Misplaced priority

Your children school fees is due and you still afford to go for that pleasure trip (not business trip……….misplaced priority

You need to write a professional exam but your girlfriend wants to celebrate her birthday with you sponsoring the party with the money you could use to register for your exams…….misplaced priority

You have a project to submit in school but you need to show up at the club and buy the guys drinks at the expense of your project……..misplaced priority

You earn 100,000. monthly and live the lifestyle of your boss who has one more zero (1.000,000.) behind his salary monthly …….misplaced priority.

You were involved in ‘ajo’ (cothrift contribution) you collected it refuse to buy that landed property but rather bought the plasma TV, set of sound system and other electrical appliances……..misplaced priority

Please furnish me with other scenario of misplaced priorities (lol)

With these kind of things happening all around us we should not be surprised that corruption is thriving in our society.

When you do these, two things are bound to happen to you

You will end up borrowing more, making debt a lifestyle or you end up doing stuffs you should not be doing all in the bid to keep up. Either of the two is bad for you, they do not make you a person of integrity.

I am not saying you don’t deserve to enjoy life, I am only saying life is in stages while men are in sizes. Knowing and getting our priorities right in this nation as individuals will go a long way in reducing corruption.

Relating With You

One of the greatest thing you can do for yourself on earth is to relate with YOU. Simply put, know You, vouch for You, speak to YOU, listen to YOU and finally love You. Most people go through life listening to what others say about them and never listen to themselves, they are so engrossed in monitoring other's progress, actions, choices that they totally ignore themselves. Relating with yourself helps you to have a knowledge of who you are, why you are here and those you need to pay attention to in your success journey. It also help you love others and treat them better. If you do not know You, you can not love you, and since you can not give what you do not have, there is no way you will love others.

How do you know YOU? Literally speaking, you know something by studying that thing, when you purchase an equipment from the market you go through the manual to get a first hand knowledge of how to get the equipment working optimally. Another way is to make use of  that equipment and begin to discover what to do and what not to do with it. The same way it works for YOU. Get a manual about YOU. Yes i mean a manual about YOU. Funny? Well there is a manual about you, the one who created you has that manual (for more about it contact me relateandlive@yahoo.com.)

It is very important that you engage yourself i.e. step out and do something. You may fail when you do it, do not be discouraged, try again, keep on trying. While trying you will discover what works for you and what do not. You will also discover your area of strength and weakness, when you do please do not bemoan your weakness, rather focus more on your strength. You will also discover the environment where you thrive, by this i mean your physical environment and your relational environment. You will note that you function with little or no effort in your physical environment. The people who help you get better are the ones i refer to as your relational environment, by now you will discover that being around some people bring out productivity from you while being with some other drain you emotionally, financially, physically e.t.c. In other words you will easily know where to go to for support/encouragement when you need them.

It is expedient that you treat YOU with respect because others take cue from YOU to treat you appropriately or otherwise. If you do not respect YOU it is unlikely that others will respect YOU. As you respect YOU, you respect others too. Never look down on YOU if  you do not want others to look down on YOU. Also believe in YOU, see YOU as a success regardless what YOU are passing through at the moment. Constantly place the picture of a successful YOU before YOU in your imagination. Go a step further and cut clips of where and who you want to be from magazines and paste them in places YOU will always see them. Get yourself a mirror and speak to YOU encouraging words DAILY.

Always relate with YOU. Tell YOU when YOU are wrong, apologise to YOU and move on.